Dear Men’s Rights Activists….

Dear American Men’s Rights Activists (aka White, Male, Masculine, Able-bodied, Cis-gendered, and Heterosexual Assholes Who Want To Add “Victim-Complex” to The List of Complexes That Work to Benefit Them In Our Fucked Up Society),

The day someone can show me a men’s rights group that actively works toward solving the legitimate problems facing male-bodied individuals today and doesn’t just flounder about bitching about feminists, looking for any loosely socially acceptable platform to engage in some Class-A woman-hating. The day someone can show me a men’s rights group that isn’t ableist or racist, that doesn’t engage in countless blatant acts of aggression toward the LGBTA community or feel threatened by even the basic idea of femininity itself, and that actively supports groups fighting to end other instantiations of systematic oppression. That day, and that day alone, will be the day I don’t think that literally all men’s rights groups are ridiculously stupid.

To all of you who don’t have the capacity for empathy or basic respect for human decency to understand why I feel this way, think of it from a pragmatic standpoint: there is a real and actual need for quality activism today that focuses on the issues that pertain to the specifically male-bodied. When you make these issues a matter of “real men” VS “feminists”, you simplify and distort the fact that each of our grievances comprises a small part of the same overarching systemic problems and utterly fail to account for the intersectional forces at work, erasing the important narratives within your OWN communities.

I want men to have a life free of oppression as much as I want that for women, but it’ll be impossible for any us to secure the rights and freedoms we’re fighting for in a long-term sustainable way unless we recognize and ally ourselves with each other’s struggles. That means all of them. I don’t have to bring our disparate philosophies of morality and personal responsibility into this conversation to convince you to care about people other than yourself. You will NOT get what you claim you want – and you will definitely not be able to keep it – unless the rest of us do too. That should be reason enough for you to slap on a rainbow pin, shout “Death to the Patriarchy!”, and start supporting the groups who want to change all the racist laws that have killed, denied or put in prison the men you claim to represent. But I really don’t care anymore if you can’t see that.

I want to build a future that all of us want to live in. But if you refuse to see that we have a personal stake in each other’s struggles, and if you prioritize your desire to uphold some arbitrary abstract absolute over the actual lived experiences of even the people within your OWN communities, then you have not earned a seat at the table. You are not even invited to the discussion. And if you get in my way, I will cut you down.

Love,

Someone Who Isn’t Taking Any More of Your Shit

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